What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
