you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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