Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
