matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
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New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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