I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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