you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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