would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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