I'm so fucking centered right now
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
