listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize