New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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