If i could tip my vagina, i would.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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