guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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