I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
