By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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