Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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