Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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