At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
