trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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