I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
