walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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