allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
