i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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