brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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