That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
