so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
