I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
