just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
