ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
