It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
