it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
