the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
