I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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