Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
