its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
