I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
