You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
