Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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