i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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