i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
