So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
