Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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