i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
