I molested 6 butterflies tonight
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
