I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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