It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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