we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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