Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
