you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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