So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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