Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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