Jerry, you need to find god
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
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I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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