I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize