dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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